It appears that my high blood pressure has resurfaced. In the past two weeks, I have been to three doctors: the surgeon, the clinic, and the workers comp doctor. Two out of those three visits, my blood pressure was at stroke level. Seriously. Yesterday it was 136/111. This morning, it was 146/96. I have an appointment to see my primary care doctor tomorrow morning. In the meantime, I am taking some leftover blood pressure medication, and the pharmacy is faxing a request for a new prescription.
I don’t know if I can handle the neuropathy medication. It makes me too dizzy. It may even be contributing to my depression. I don’t know. It could be that the Klonipin is contributing to my depression. Or it could just be my bipolar. Regardless, I’m falling down.
I seem to be continually beating myself up. It is one of those things we all seem to do to a various extent. Even some of the “normals” do it. But for some reason we bipolars seem to be worse. Or rather, better at it. It’s like I intentionally put a chain with a weight on it around my neck and allow myself to drown.
The neuropathy has been the worse lately. So I tried to increase it this morning (as I should be by now) and of course I’m dizzy. It feels like I can’t win.
It is getting more difficult to write this blog because of the depression. I am using the speech recognition, but I still need a a better microphone. I am going to order one. I’ve been planning to do so the entire week. Yet I have not done it. Do you see where this is going? I never seem to be able to accomplish anything. Depression is taking over me.
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