Manic Monday

I can’t say it’s a “Manic Monday” because I am neither manic nor is it Monday.  You might be wondering why I chose to go by Manic Monday.  Well, there is a story behind the phrase, but the blog name and my pen name are the same because basically I was rather stumped by the whole setup process in WordPress.  (Go ahead, laugh, it’s OK.)  Having bungled it from the beginning, and after making a few friends in the neighborhood, it didn’t seem like I should put forth the effort to change anything at this stage.  Besides, I’m not sure I can come up with a more creative name anyway.

On to the story behind the name… you may recognize “Manic Monday” because it’s a song by The Bangles.  A song from my teenage years – so you can estimate my age now.  They were never a favorite but I did like The Bangles.  (I was more of a Duran Duran girl at the time.)  However, when my obession with this song started about a year ago I actually was manic.  I didn’t recognize it for a long time – until after my new neurologist point it out.  That’s when I started writing this blog.

Things at work had been pretty rough for about a year.  It’s difficult when your supervisor is a narcissistic bully.  I went through a lot of depression, abuse PTSD and just general instability.  My health was rapidly going downhill with symptoms that still can’t be explained but had me convinced that I would be in a wheelchair within a few years.  The symptoms suddenly subsided sometime in April or May and I hope they stay that way.  But in January 2011, my previous neurologist prescribed me Cymbalta for the neuropathy pain.  A red flag should have gone up but didn’t.  For those of you who aren’t familiar with Cymbalta, it is a strong anti-depressant that is also used to treat neuropathy.  I took the minimum dose for about two weeks.  It didn’t help with the neuropathy so I quit.  I don’t know if this is what started my mania, but it wouldn’t surprise me if it had an impact.  I don’t know when my mania actually started.  I was so worried about losing feeling in my legs that any mental health signs were lost.  For all I know, the mania and Cymbalta might not be related. I was only taking Lamictal for my bipolar so I had nothing to prevent mania. All I know is that by the time I met my psychiatrist in July I was coming down off of a manic high.  Not a euphoric mania either – I think that’s why I didn’t recognize it.

Wow, I really got off topic here.  What I was aiming for was not a bio but rather why I like this song now.  It’s because I hated going to work. And our manager started cracking down on people coming in late – well, except for the narcissist – he’s always the exception to every rule.  So you can imagine these lyrics…

But I can’t be late
‘Cause then I guess I just won’t get paid
These are the days
When you wish your bed was already made

I never make my bed.

Got to be to work by nine
And if I had an air-o-plane
I still couldn’t make it on time
‘Cause it takes me so long
Just to figure out what I’m gonna wear

It takes me forever to get ready in the morning.  I can’t figure out what to wear, and even when I decide the night before, something goes wrong and I have to start over.  It takes me about an hour and a half – longer if I wear makeup or eat.

As time went on and every day seemed like a “Monday” I started thinking of this song every time the alarm clock went off.  Eventually, I made a ringtone for my alarm.  I don’t know if I will still feel like every day is a “Manic Monday” once I go back to work.  We’ll find out in about a month.


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5 thoughts on “Manic Monday

  1. Thanks for this. I am bipolar and just came off of Cymbalta in December. Oddly, ten days later I developed what I think is neuropathy. Strange. The muscle issues could be from something else but it seems like there might be a connection.

  2. I don’t know that Cymbalta would cause neuropathy, but it certainly could have been masking any symptoms you were having while on it. I take Lyrica for my mine, and it does wonders for me. There are several different types of neuropathy and many different causes, but 60% of neuropathies are diagnosed idiopathic. Of those with a clear source, it is most likely diabetes. However, it takes a LONG time of undiagnosed or untreated diabetes to form neuropathy. If you are looking for information on neuropathy, search for diabetic neuropathy. The symptoms are the same, even if the cause is different. There isn’t as much support or information out there for neuropathy as there is for diabetes or MS or any other condition. If you want to talk more about your (possible) neuropathy, feel free to comment on my blog or send me an email.

    Glad I could help. 🙂

  3. Hi Manic Monday & mypathforward,

    I found your blog through some work I’m doing with the folks behind Metanx.

    You may be right MM in that both Cymbalta & Lyrica are commonly prescribed to try and help people cope with the pain. And it’s sort of a catch 22 situation, isn’t it? I’ve lived with type 1 diabetes for almost 32 years, and while I don’t have any neuropathy pain, I can’t imagine that I would be in a healthy state of mind if my feet or hands hurt all of the time.

    Thanks so much for telling your story – there’s real power in real people sharing their experiences. You’re actively changing what the world finds when they turn to search engines looking for help.

  4. I love this post. Even though I have “known” you for quite some time, reading something like this gives me more insight into the type of woman you are.

    I’ve long been a fan of both The Bangles and Duran Duran. My father is a musician by calling, so I grew up with much more eclectic tastes than most (and I’m grateful for that).

    I hope you’re healing well, and thanks for posting on Canvas. I was kind of afraid that most everyone had lost interest, but you have given me hope once again!

  5. Manic Monday fits so well for your blog and the entire premise! I love it! I used to feel that way about Mondays too.

    I like to call you Monday. Monday is like Tuesday (Adams), but cooler. Tuesday was dark. Even when things are bleak, you always seem to have a way to shine through!

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