I can’t say it’s a “Manic Monday” because I am neither manic nor is it Monday. You might be wondering why I chose to go by Manic Monday. Well, there is a story behind the phrase, but the blog name and my pen name are the same because basically I was rather stumped by the whole setup process in WordPress. (Go ahead, laugh, it’s OK.) Having bungled it from the beginning, and after making a few friends in the neighborhood, it didn’t seem like I should put forth the effort to change anything at this stage. Besides, I’m not sure I can come up with a more creative name anyway.
On to the story behind the name… you may recognize “Manic Monday” because it’s a song by The Bangles. A song from my teenage years – so you can estimate my age now. They were never a favorite but I did like The Bangles. (I was more of a Duran Duran girl at the time.) However, when my obession with this song started about a year ago I actually was manic. I didn’t recognize it for a long time – until after my new neurologist point it out. That’s when I started writing this blog.
Things at work had been pretty rough for about a year. It’s difficult when your supervisor is a narcissistic bully. I went through a lot of depression, abuse PTSD and just general instability. My health was rapidly going downhill with symptoms that still can’t be explained but had me convinced that I would be in a wheelchair within a few years. The symptoms suddenly subsided sometime in April or May and I hope they stay that way. But in January 2011, my previous neurologist prescribed me Cymbalta for the neuropathy pain. A red flag should have gone up but didn’t. For those of you who aren’t familiar with Cymbalta, it is a strong anti-depressant that is also used to treat neuropathy. I took the minimum dose for about two weeks. It didn’t help with the neuropathy so I quit. I don’t know if this is what started my mania, but it wouldn’t surprise me if it had an impact. I don’t know when my mania actually started. I was so worried about losing feeling in my legs that any mental health signs were lost. For all I know, the mania and Cymbalta might not be related. I was only taking Lamictal for my bipolar so I had nothing to prevent mania. All I know is that by the time I met my psychiatrist in July I was coming down off of a manic high. Not a euphoric mania either – I think that’s why I didn’t recognize it.
Wow, I really got off topic here. What I was aiming for was not a bio but rather why I like this song now. It’s because I hated going to work. And our manager started cracking down on people coming in late – well, except for the narcissist – he’s always the exception to every rule. So you can imagine these lyrics…
But I can’t be late
‘Cause then I guess I just won’t get paid
These are the days
When you wish your bed was already made
I never make my bed.
Got to be to work by nine
And if I had an air-o-plane
I still couldn’t make it on time
‘Cause it takes me so long
Just to figure out what I’m gonna wear
It takes me forever to get ready in the morning. I can’t figure out what to wear, and even when I decide the night before, something goes wrong and I have to start over. It takes me about an hour and a half – longer if I wear makeup or eat.
As time went on and every day seemed like a “Monday” I started thinking of this song every time the alarm clock went off. Eventually, I made a ringtone for my alarm. I don’t know if I will still feel like every day is a “Manic Monday” once I go back to work. We’ll find out in about a month.
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