Why I hate Canadian Geese

They are noisy, obnoxious, territorial, vicious creatures. Don’t walk too close to them or they will attack – especially during mating season. We used to live in an apartment complex that was quiet and charming with a pond in the back. But every spring from about February to May, the geese were there honking up a storm. Day and night. Even with heat or AC on, it still would keep me up some nights. Mating season, I know, but noisy, noisy, noisy!!! I remember one time I took a walk around the campus that I was working at and accidentally walked too close to a nest. The male goose started honking and snapping, chasing me away. I’ve been wary of them ever since.

Today, at my husband’s urging, I went for a walk. Instead of walking around the neighborhood, I went to a nearby park that I like. It is a lovely place with a pond, benches, and trees. Even a weeping willow whose leaves reach for the water, nearly kissing the surface. The only down side is the geese. There are ducks too, but they keep to themselves and are relatively benign anyway. But these geese… people feed the geese. Often. So the geese are not afraid of humans, instead they are bold creatures and they figure that if you are human and in their territory then you are there to feed them. And if you aren’t there to feed them then get lost. Mind you, I’ve gotten some incredible pictures of these geese, close-ups because they’ll walk right up to you, but I’ve also stood on top of a picnic table to get away from them. I hate geese, almost as much as I hate bugs.

Too close for comfort

Not shy! They will come closer and probably eat out of your hand if you let them. I've never tried it.

I hate spiders too. I’m afraid that every spider I see is a brown recluse (common in this part of the country) that will bite me and kill me painfully. Or kill my cats. When Luna passed away, I had a feeling that she had eaten a brown recluse.  She was playing with something, and shortly thereafter she began convulsions and eventually her liver gave out.  The poor thing died in agony. But that’s a different story. I was talking about why I hate geese and why I hate spiders and other creepy-crawlies. They are icky, nasty things.  I know spiders are a necessary part of the ecosystem but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

But geese? Surely they aren’t a necessary part of the ecosystem? They are the perfect example of a fluffy dinosaur, evolved from large flying creatures in a savage land of eat or be eaten. They eat grass and handouts and poop everywhere. Please don’t feed the geese. At least make them work for their food. Otherwise the world might be taken over by Canadian Geese.


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6 thoughts on “Why I hate Canadian Geese

  1. I hate to tell you – these aren’t Canadian geese! They’re a more exotic non-native species, probably an Asian variety. The bump above the bill gives them away. (I know this because I’m a bird geek…)

    This kind are particularly aggressive, though – they tried to attack my husband once!

  2. I didn’t know that. Some of them don’t have a bump, so maybe those really are Canadian Geese. Maybe we could just leave Canada out of it entirely (what have they done to us lately anyway?) and just state that I hate geese. Canadian, Asian, whatever – obnoxious geese are horrible!

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  4. OMG, I went to DC one year while in my teens. They looked docile enough, standing around the reflecting pool. And I stuck my hand out! It bit me! I mean, it didn’t hurt too bad, geese don’t have teeth. But it was enough. Then the rest of his friends chased me away!

    I’m a bird lover. I’ve raised and trained parakeets since I was little. I’ve been bitten by parakeets, but there was already a reason. I was slow and kind to that Canadian Goose and the freakin’ thing bit me!

    Many years later, I worked for a company residing by a river. (Because god, where isn’t there so kind of body of water in Pittsburgh). On my breaks, I would go sit at a picnic table near the water. And the geese came! They seemed nice this time. They let me approach them and were very interested in my presence. So, I gave them a handful of crackers and they were very nice.

    The next day, I went out, and they had doubled. They approached me, and I threw all of my crackers at them. I didn’t really want them anyway. And they were pleased.

    The next day, they had trippled. Dozens of geese, descending upon me. They charged me. I held my hands up and explained that I had forgotten the crackers! They actually sent me running!

    I started going out into the front at the point. By the time I returned to the back, they had moved on. Whew!

    Well, I wasn’t there for the next year. But my husband was. I forgot to mention the geese. He went out for his break and threw them some bread from his sandwich. And a co-worker scolding him for feeding the geese. It was a policy that no one was to feed the geese. They explained to him that someone had done it in the past and every migration, they had an aggressive geese problem. I laughed when he retold this story. And I admitted, “That was me!”

    So, eventually, they put a huge sign in the grass near the river

    Do not feed the geese!.

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