A big THANK YOU to everyone for their help on my post Runaway. This post is followup to that one and I wish I could say everything is OK now, but honestly, I’m no longer in the loop. My sister sees her daughter as just in one of her moods, and my niece doesn’t want to talk to me right now. But my last conversation with her was frightening.
I am going to start referring to my niece as Persephone, representing both her dual nature (bipolar) and particularly the darker side of schizophrenia. I’ve also decided to refer to my sister as Hera, not only because she is a mother, but she can also be a selfish bitch. Names established, I will get back to the story.
Conversations with Persephone went from strange to stranger the night that I posted Runaway. She was referring to herself in the third person saying that Persephone is lost. Imagine my shock, on facebook chat, when I asked who I was talking to and she gave me a new name. (I will call this second personality Proserpina, not for personality reasons but because she is the Roman equivalent of Persephone.) I was speechless. Meanwhile, after hours of cajoling, DH convinced Persephone/Proserpina to call me. It was like talking to a stranger. Proserpina spoke differently – in monotone, devoid of interest yet with a touch of anger by some of my questions. She said she takes over when the emotional turmoil is too great for Persephone to handle. Whether this is a true manifestation of Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) or not, I cannot say as I have no real experience with this illness. Proserpina believes this situation to be a manifestation of her (their?) schizophrenia.
She said that Persephone will have no memory of what has occurred while Proserpina is in charge. Her purpose is to keep Persephone’s body from dying, although she made it quite clear that she could hurt (but not kill) the body if she chose to do so. She is supposed to be in charge until Persephone returns, but also to help “find” her, whatever that means. Proserpina told me that when my niece “blacked out” while driving home, it was she who took over to keep Persephone from driving off the road and committing suicide. When I asked if she was Persephone’s protector, the touch of anger shone through the mostly monotone speech. This is when she informed me that she could hurt this body if she chose to but she could not destroy it because it did not belong to her. Proserpina told me that she intended to leave for a few days, going camping in the woods in order to “find” Persephone. Proserpina said that the switch lasts typically from 12-24hrs, but it had already been 24hrs since the switch by the time I talked to her. To say that I am worried, is putting it mildly.
Update: I just received an answer to my text and Persephone said the last couple of days are a blur. Her memory is fragmented over the past few days and she feels as though what she does remember doesn’t belong to her. She isn’t concerned, she thinks maybe she was on a drinking binge. Now what do I do? Is it my place to tell her about this conversation with Proserpina? How do I convince her to take her drinking, partying, and medications more seriously? Next time, things might not end so well.
© Manic Monday (manicmonday123) 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Manic Monday (manicmonday123) with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.