Another Phone Interview in Review

Wow.  All I have to say is wow – and not a good wow either.  I told DH, “I was about as eloquent as a bull in a china closet.”  I specifically did not take my Klonopin because I wanted my head to be clear, but I guess I should have taken it.  Maybe things would have gone better.  I took my Straterra – I was focused. My mood has been better since the weekend, so I’m pretty stable.  I just stumbled everywhere.  I couldn’t get the words out.  I couldn’t express my passion for teaching.  I forgot all my analogies, all my anecdotes, all my stories that make me special and a great candidate.

Bomb.  It was like I was a third person watching myself fail.  I didn’t feel like I was failing, I was just watching it.  My words, where were my words?  I can tell you now how I keep in touch with some of my former students and I see the impact I had on their life and it makes me proud.  Why didn’t I tell them that?  My brain simply closed the doors to that knowledge.  I felt so empty-headed. Like staring around you at an empty ballroom. I would start answering a question and then the words stopped flowing.  Ending up with ‘uhm’ and ‘that sort of thing’ trailing off to silence.  I have so many good things to say, why didn’t I say ANY of them?

I probably sound like I am beating up on myself but I’m not.  I’m just frustrated.  I’m wondering to what corner of the universe the language centers in my brain escaped.  Sometimes I stopped myself from saying something that could have been negative, but applying the brakes to any thought process seemed to cause a shutdown of all communication skill.  I could hear the seconds tick by as I raced through my mind, looking for something relevant to the add, something to finish the sentence with.  Gone. Empty. Not even crickets chirping.

I don’t know if I will get called in for a face-to-face interview or not.  I should know by the end of the week.  But this time, I’m not counting any chickens.  Hell, there’s no chickens to count – they flew the coop.

 

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5 thoughts on “Another Phone Interview in Review

  1. I do that to when I have rehearsed over and over what I am going to say if I am going to confront someone. Then I just blabber when I do it.lol I hope for the best for you sweety! keep us informed!

  2. Pingback: Frustrated Today | Manic Monday

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