My best friend is a Cop

My best friend is a Cop.  You wouldn’t know it to look at her.  She is a pretty blue-eye blond lady in her mid-twenties.  She is one of the sweetest people I know.  She always says sorry for things that aren’t her fault, and she’ll do anything she can to help you out.

But there is another side of her.  The cop side.  A side I’ve never really seen.

She took me to a movie tonight called End of Watch.  If violence triggers you, then DO NOT GO SEE THIS MOVIE.  If, however, you can handle the violence (or cover your eyes like I did at some points) then it’s a very good movie. And from what my friend tells me, pretty realistic.  People really do some crazy shit.  I don’t know if most cops swear that much.  I can’t imagine the f-word coming out of her mouth every sentence or so, but this movie is based on LAPD, cops who work some the most gang-infested areas of the country.  There’s probably a little more f-bombing there than in small town middle-America.

I know she carries a concealed Glock when we go out to the mall or to dinner.  I just don’t think about it.  She even stopped by my house one time in her uniform (not dress blues) with full gear on – vest and a Batman-like belt containing a walkie-talkie, gun, flashlight and who knows what else.  Knowing it was her was a little less intimidating than being pulled over by a police officer for speeding.  (I am very easily intimidated by people in positions of authority.)

I confess I was a little freaked out by the movie.  Seeing it on the big screen means it’s big and bold and in your face.  The entire movie is shot as if it was done by a video camera.  In fact, the premise is that one of the cops is videoing everything for a class project he’s working on.  But the movie makes you think about what our policemen and policewomen go through each and every day.  It might be a boring day of writing tickets, or you might find yourself discovering a dead body or a meth lab.

I told her afterwards that I am afraid for her.  She said not to worry, she is Orozco (played by America Ferrera) the tough, street-wise police woman who knows how to handle herself.  I should also tell her that I am proud of her for putting up with the strung-out druggies, and locking away the bad guys.

I am proud to call her my best friend.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Solitary

Solitary
(c) Manic Monday 2012

This week’s Photo Challenge is Solitary.  I thought about all the pictures I have of people in solitary situations, but I decided upon this one because animals can be solitary as well.  This is a poison dart frog at the local zoo.  If you are lucky enough to see the little critters, they are often times alone (except during mating season).

Solitary is often considered to be a sad situation, but that it not necessarily so.  This little guy is probably quite happy that he (or she?) doesn’t have to share the rock with other frogs.  Sitting on a rock, staring off into the sunset or whatever happens to be before you can be quite relaxing.  So next time you are feeling solitary and sad, just think of this little frog. 🙂

Image captured at ISO 200, f6.3, 250mm, 1/60s

 

© Manic Monday (manicmonday123) 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Manic Monday (manicmonday123) with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The Equinox and The Moon

I couldn’t have described it better. Thanks to Barefoot Baroness for this lovely post.

Happy Equinox!

Barefoot Baroness

Image Credit: Dan Bush of Missouri Skies

Shine on, shine on harvest moon

Up in the sky,

I ain’t had no lovin’ Since January, February, June or July

Snow time ain’t no time to stay Outdoors and spoon,

So shine on, shine on harvest moon,

For me and my gal

~ Shine On Harvest Moon By Nora Bayes and Jack Norworth (1903)

Traditionally in skylore, the Harvest Moonis the full moonclosest to the autumnal equinox. In 2012, for us in the Northern Hemisphere, the autumnal equinox comes on September 22. The full moon for us in the U.S. will come on the night of September 29. That makes the September 29-30 full moon the Harvest Moon

Harvest Moon is just a name.  It’s the name for the full moon nearest the autumnal equinox. In the Northern Hemisphere, you’ll always see the Harvest Moon in either September or October.  In the Southern Hemisphere

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Anxiety Attack

I’ve been filling out forms (7 pages worth) in order to try to qualify for mortgage reduction based on my unemployment status. It’s been difficult to do. Not only is it difficult to find all the numbers I needed (I’m horribly disorganized) but it’s been emotionally difficult. And of course, I berate myself for not looking into this sooner.

I finished the paperwork yesterday. I thought about emailing it, but I couldn’t figure out (I suppose I could have called again) how to send it with signatures, although I suppose I could have scanned it in. There’s also a website called Homeowner Connect where you can electronically submit through them, but then I had to go through and figure out how much I owe on my student loans, credit cards, etc. and I just couldn’t go through all that after filling out the first set of paperwork. Besides, I was already pre-approved by my mortgage company so I thought I should follow their instructions.

Anyway, I went to Staples to try to fax it. I couldn’t do it. I counted the number of pages total (including documentation of my unemployment status) three times. I filled out their little half cover sheet. I even got as far as putting the number in, but I couldn’t send it. I got filled with anxiety. I walked around the store and tried to calm down. I tried calling my husband so he could talk me down, but he didn’t answer his phone. I finally just left. I couldn’t handle it.

Staples probably thinks I stole a fax thing. I don’t know, I just couldn’t handle it. I came home and told DH that I couldn’t do it. He asked why. I yelled at him: I just couldn’t!  I took another Klonopin (1/2 pill).  I’ve been crying practically since I got home.

I feel like a failure.  I have to ask for help with my mortgage.  I can’t even go and send a simple fax.  I am so disorganized that I can’t even find stuff when I need it.  Everything feels so expensive.  I’m a wreck.

DH has gone now to fax the paperwork.  He’s going to do the simple thing that I couldn’t do.  Why am I such a loser?

© Manic Monday (manicmonday123) 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Manic Monday (manicmonday123) with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

3AM

And she screams and her voice is straining
She says baby
It’s 3 am I must be lonely…
3am, Matchbook Twenty

It’s nearly 3AM and I’m feeling lonely. I tried sleeping but that didn’t work so I took a second dose of Klonopin. (Yes, that’s double the dose.) I’m wound up and I can’t put my finger on it.

I have to admit, I’ve fallen off the stable wagon. I didn’t want to admit it. I function well enough – if you call it that. I didn’t buy the shoes even though I had a couple of chances.  As Ruby put it, I should be proud of myself for that.

I don’t know what put me into a tailspin tonight.  I think it was reading some blogs that I’ve been trying to catch up on.  I came across one that made me sad when I know it was meant to make me happy.  I just feel so down tonight.  I don’t feel like I’m at the cool table but rather still at the invisible table.  I was at the cool table when I was manic and smart, and pretty, and all around cool.  Now I’m depressed and sitting alone at the invisible table, writing and crying at 3am.

I’m not blaming the blog in question – it really was meant to be a happy blog.  Maybe it just triggered some bad memories for me.  Like when I thought I was sitting at the cool table and I wrote a very deep, heartfelt note to one of my fellow tablemates, only to have it read out loud while the entire table jeered me.   It was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life.

Or maybe I feel lonely because I’m not as popular as a lot of the other blogs I read.  Some of us started at the same time, yet I’ve only got a fraction of the number of followers.  (However, I am grateful for each and every follower!)

Or maybe the events of earlier today made me feel worse than I originally thought.  I don’t know.  But it’s 3am and I must be lonely, because I don’t know what else it is.

 
© Manic Monday (manicmonday123) 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Manic Monday (manicmonday123) with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.