Missed Again

Missed arrow

I confess, I had another job interview a few weeks ago. I didn’t tell anyone about it (well, only 2 or 3 local friends) because I (superstitiously) thought that if I didn’t tell anyone and no one crossed their fingers for me, that it might actually work out. I was wrong. Maybe I needed the finger crossing after all.

I found out about the job because of friend of mine works there.  She told me that her boss was saying I was at the top of her list (for at least a week) but then her boss clammed up about the job search.  I think that was the point that I was no longer at the top.  I found out today for sure (from my friend) that I didn’t get the job.  They gave it to a guy.  The office is mostly female, so I wonder if the person in charge was encouraged to hire a male for the position.  The vicious part of me hopes this guy doesn’t work out.  They’ve already gone through two people for this position in the last year and a half.  Maybe that’s a sign that it wasn’t the right job for me anyway.

I’ve got another lead, though it might not work out.  It’s kind of stretching what I know, but it’s worth a try.  Hell, most anything is worth a try.  My dad suggested McDonalds… so maybe not anything.  Starbucks has crossed my mind, but I don’t know how well I would do at a food service job.  It might send me over the edge again.  I have thought about a bank teller job.  Counting out money all day long – go me.  There’s nothing wrong with these jobs, except that I have a fucking PhD and I’m so over qualified for most things that it isn’t funny.  Walmart isn’t going to hire a PhD, not that I’d want to work there anyway.  My options are so slim.  No, I need a new field.  How do I go about doing that?

The work environment of my last job was so horrible that it cost me my mental health.  I still feel like a failure because I couldn’t handle it.  I know that most people couldn’t handle those personalities but that doesn’t make me feel any better.  I was feeling abused there and it triggered all sorts of PTSD for me.  I needed out, just not the way it was handled.  I needed to look for a job so much sooner.  See how I can berate myself for everything?

Anyway, that’s the latest in my unemployment saga.  I hope something else comes along soon.


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