The past few days have been very cold here. Not very cold compared to the North, but cold compared to the late summer we have been enjoying. Nights in the 30’s and days in the 50’s. This shouldn’t happen for another month or two where I live. The days are growing shorter. I’ve been running the heat for two days and even turned on the space heater today. (I hate the cold.) It’s been kind of grey and overcast and I’ve been sleeping a lot this weekend. I’ve felt tired and achy – is it the winter blues already?
Winter is often unkind to those suffering from bipolar or unipolar depression and seasonal affective disorder. It probably affects many other mental disorders as well. So when I look out the window and see a cold, grey sky, I feel like I don’t want to move from under the covers. I know what winter means. It means a cold house because I can’t afford to run the heat too high, and freezing feet and fingers because I have poor circulation. The holidays are coming and that just reminds me how isolated we are from our families, or at least I am. There will be sweets that I cannot eat, gifts I cannot afford to buy, and depression I cannot avoid. We won’t get snow, we will get ice, and driving will be difficult. Not that I have anywhere to go.
I have a feeling that I will be unemployed all winter. I’m going to do my best to hope for at least some part-time work. My unemployment checks will be running out soon – probably next month – so I hope my mortgage refinance happens before then. I’m not looking forward to this winter.
The weather is supposed to turn warm again in a couple of days. The last remnants of summer.
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