Retail Therapy

I’m feeling a bit down today and yesterday.  Went out and performed some ‘retail therapy’ with a friend yesterday, but that only went so far.  It’s also difficult to get into retail therapy when you don’t have spare cash to spend.  Fortunately, I only spent about $30 (vitamins excluded).  The other thing about retail therapy is that the high only lasts a little while unless you’re manic.  Then it’s the reality of spending money you don’t really have on things you don’t really need.  Even when I brought home a large paycheck, it didn’t change the guilt I would feel afterwards.  Of course, I would be spending $100-$200 instead of $30 too so it’s all about perspective.  I’ve spent so much at Eddie Bauer over the past few years, DH & I nicknamed it the ‘evil store’.

We even stopped into the jewelry store.  I was working on collecting jewelry from all the major gemstones.  I have a ring, earrings, and necklace of garnets, amethyst and sapphire.  I was planning to go on with rubies and some of the others.  (I think ruby was next on the list.)  I saw this beautiful heart shaped ruby ring.  It’s too expensive (and too impractical) for my Christmas list this year but maybe next year.  Anyway, I don’t know why I stopped in the store in the first place.  Perhaps just to torture myself.

I feel like I should be saying something more profound about retail therapy, since I titled the post with the phrase.  But I guess I have to realize that not everything I write has to be profound.  Sometimes it’s important just to write something – anything. 

Here’s an aside though, that I want to throw out to all of my readers: my therapist wants me to bring in my journal so we can use it as talking points for therapy.  I am reluctant to do this.  It reminds me of how my mother used to read my journal when I was young.  I know she isn’t my mother but it still feels like someone is checking up on me to make sure I did what I was supposed to – like homework.  Do you think she has the right to look at my journal?


5 thoughts on “Retail Therapy

  1. No, I don’t think she has the right to look at your journal, and, moreover, I think if you explain your reasons, if she is a good therapist she will understand and not press the matter. I have never had anyone look at my journals, and I would still be absolutely horrified if a therapist (or anyone) asked to!

    Now on to other matters. Where was that ruby ring. . . ? 😉

    • She already knows about my mother reading my journals. I think I’ve already told her I’m not comfortable with bringing mine in. I don’t write in it anymore, so what’s the point? I probably don’t write in part because I know she wants to know what’s in my journal. Another friend of mine thinks it’s a good idea because how else will I work through what I need to work through? To me, it’s a violation of my privacy. Also, I learned a long time ago that anything you write down can be used against you. I wrote a private note to a “friend” in high school and it was read out loud at the lunch table. When I wrote things down around my ex, he would always find them and then abuse me for my words. Is it any wonder that I don’t like to write?

      As for the ring, it is safely stored in the jewelry shop’s inventory. I can’t afford it, but it was pretty… heart shaped set in white gold, with a pair of diamond chips saddling the ruby and a unique setting that makes you think there are more diamonds than there are. It was pretty. 😦

  2. I may be too late in replying but, I believe it is ultimately your decision. If you’re uncomfortable with the idea then, you don’t have to share it with anyone. Perhaps you’re feelings will change in time but, if that isn’t now then, she should respect that anyway. 🙂

    If you are stuck for words though, how would you feel about taking a few excerpts from the previous weeks entries?

  3. I think it’s entirely up to you. I’ve heard of folks sometimes bringing in printouts of blog posts for their therapists when they couldn’t say something important in person but knew they needed to communicate it.

    I take sticky notes with discussion points to my therapist. That might be a useful strategy – it puts you in control of the discussion instead of relying on her to extract them. But you kinda have to be proactive about getting into the problematic stuff if you’re going to try that approach.

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