I’m feeling a bit down today and yesterday. Went out and performed some ‘retail therapy’ with a friend yesterday, but that only went so far. It’s also difficult to get into retail therapy when you don’t have spare cash to spend. Fortunately, I only spent about $30 (vitamins excluded). The other thing about retail therapy is that the high only lasts a little while unless you’re manic. Then it’s the reality of spending money you don’t really have on things you don’t really need. Even when I brought home a large paycheck, it didn’t change the guilt I would feel afterwards. Of course, I would be spending $100-$200 instead of $30 too so it’s all about perspective. I’ve spent so much at Eddie Bauer over the past few years, DH & I nicknamed it the ‘evil store’.
We even stopped into the jewelry store. I was working on collecting jewelry from all the major gemstones. I have a ring, earrings, and necklace of garnets, amethyst and sapphire. I was planning to go on with rubies and some of the others. (I think ruby was next on the list.) I saw this beautiful heart shaped ruby ring. It’s too expensive (and too impractical) for my Christmas list this year but maybe next year. Anyway, I don’t know why I stopped in the store in the first place. Perhaps just to torture myself.
I feel like I should be saying something more profound about retail therapy, since I titled the post with the phrase. But I guess I have to realize that not everything I write has to be profound. Sometimes it’s important just to write something – anything.
Here’s an aside though, that I want to throw out to all of my readers: my therapist wants me to bring in my journal so we can use it as talking points for therapy. I am reluctant to do this. It reminds me of how my mother used to read my journal when I was young. I know she isn’t my mother but it still feels like someone is checking up on me to make sure I did what I was supposed to – like homework. Do you think she has the right to look at my journal?