I’ve been watching Castle reruns for nearly five hours now. I saw all the episodes when they came out but apparently I’ve forgotten who done it because most of them I am surprised at the end. The real question is: why have I been watching television all day?

Well, it’s been a crappy day. Not super crappy, just crappy. And tonight is the night my husband works so I am alone. I don’t feel like reading and I can’t sit still at the computer. So I am watching TV.

A lot has happened over the past couple of weeks, from dropping my bitchy therapist to a job interview, the latter of which isn’t looking so good. I have a long to-do list and not much I am doing on it. The car didn’t want to start this morning, so I didn’t feel safe taking it on a grocery run. Yeah, lots of little crap happened today.

I know I’ve been pretty quiet on my blog lately, both this one and my fanfic one. I’ve been feeling lonely on the bipolar front. Would someone email me? Not that it matters, I don’t have anything to say. I am so lucky to have a wonderful husband, but he can’t be my only support. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. Wasting time and wasting money.

I guess I’m just feeling a little down tonight. Thanks for reading.

2 thoughts on “TV

  1. You’re not alone in this .. when the depression hits me I don’t get anything done either. I know lots of people would say “don’t be so hard on yourself”, but I won’t because I know that feeling of “fuck why can’t I do anything?” doesn’t go away with just words, even well-intended words from a friend. This comment is long, so in summary a) you’re not alone and I can empathize with that feeling, and b) this summary is almost as long as the comment itself. Enough of this silliness. Depression begone. Hope you will laugh at how silly this is.

    • I don’t find your comment silly, I find it comforting. It’s difficult to be depressed. And yet, sometimes I don’t feel depressed, I feel like I have no excuse. I’ve been unemployed over a year now and I am at a loss as to what to do or where to go next. My life is such a mess right now, it isn’t even funny. This deserves another post. If I can get through my taxes, then maybe I can write.

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