30 Days of Thanks: Day 6

I have a lot to be thankful for right now. As I sit perched upon the edge of my seat, waiting to hear if I will get an offer from the college, I want to express my thanks to the powers that be for the luck I’ve had so far. I had a job interview at the conference for a company, and I had a job interview from a college. I am well and truly hoping I get the college teaching job. I don’t know what it will pay, but those things may be negotiable. I am just very thankful that I got this far in the interview process.

Even though it is rush timing, I really want this teaching job. The school is great, the people seem good, although I couldn’t read them very well, so I don’t know what they thought of me. I’m really not good at interviewing without hypomania. But then this is the job that I thought I really screwed up the phone interview, so maybe they like me well enough.  I certainly hope so.  They are making their decision today, so I am extra nervous.  I should hear something (good or bad) by the end of the week.

The industry position would be a nice backup option.  It contains a lot of sales, so the salary is not great and you work partially on commission.  I can sell anything I believe in.  But I don’t see myself being in a sales position with high travel (up to 50%) for a long period of time.  I’m too old for that, and I think all my medications it would be a hindrance.  A job is a job and you can’t complain about being employed these days even if it isn’t your favorite type of job.

I sort of got off on a couple of tangents there, but really I wanted to express my gratitude for the opportunities I’ve been given thus far.  I hope it works out so that I can write another day of thanks for a new job soon!

 
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30 Days of Thanks: Day 5

Today I would like to extend my thanks to my friends M & J.  They are graciously allowing me to spend an extra couple of days with them on my trip out to a conference in August.  They even offered to throw me a barbeque!  These are friends I haven’t seen in years.  Not my closest of friends, but friends I would like to know better.

My closest of friends from that area don’t seem to want to be friends anymore – I hardly even see them on facebook.  It makes me sad.  We used to live out there.  If we moved back to the area, would we still have friends?  I have closer friends here.  My BFF is here.  But we can’t live here indefinitely – there’s no work. 😦

I need to focus on the great friends I do have out there, generous people like M & J, who are willing to open their home to me just to see me and spend time with me.  I would love to go out another day early and go shooting with J.  He is really a gun fanatic – well, both of them are to some extent.  I can’t own a gun because of my mental illness, but J did take me to a shooting range once.  It was so much fun!

I’m really excited about my trip now.  It won’t be all business.  Sure it means spending a little more on kenneling and parking fees, but it also means spending time with friends I haven’t seen since 2009.  I can’t believe they are willing to put me up for the weekend.  I am very blessed to have good friends in my life. 🙂

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30 Days of Thanks: Day 4

I am very thankful for my husband. He is my rock, my friend, my soulmate. He puts up with my moods, my episodes, my bad habits. He cooks, he cleans, he does dishes and takes out the kitty litter. He carries the chores when I can’t do them, and often just beats me to it.

We haven’t always been this close, and we haven’t always gotten along. We came near to divorce once. But as we both learned more about my illness, my triggers, and the reasons behind specific behaviors, we grew closer. I think we have gotten a lot closer just over the last year, when I have finally started getting proper treatment for my various psychological illnesses (bipolar, OCD, etc.). He started taking cooking more seriously when I was diagnosed diabetic two years ago.

Some days, I think I couldn’t possibly live without him, that I wouldn’t have the strength to go on if something were to happen. I depend on my husband so much, maybe too much, and I worry about him whenever he goes somewhere without me. I love him with all my heart, and I feel thankful to have him every single day of my life. (Yes, even when he ticks me off.)

I would love to be more eloquent in this post, but I’m afraid I’m at a loss for words.  My heart is full of love and thanks – that’s all I have to say.

 
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30 Days of Thanks: Day 3

Today’s thanks go out to a very dear friend of mine, who I will call Simon. Simon is like a brother to me. We have known each other since we started graduate school together, and been good friends since I joined his research group a couple of years later. (I switched advisers and fields.) Simon was there to support me after I left a 7-year long abusive relationship. He was the first man to make me realize you could be friends with a member of the opposite sex without any sexual interest. He’s always acted like a big brother, helping me through some rough times and enjoying good times. For several years, our communication was sparse because until he met his second wife, he wasn’t much of a communicator. But we’ve gotten close again over the past 7 years. We communicate a lot on Facebook, and are starting to communicate more via phone. I once asked DH, “Why do I only call Simon when I am in (usually job) distress?” DH replied, “Because he’s your brother.” It stuck. Now I call him “bro” and he calls me “sis”. Simon is closer to me than I ever have or will be with my blood brother.

He’s seen me manic; he’s seen me depressed. He’s never judged me and he’s always supported me, even when I made some really stupid decisions. He’s done more for me than I could ever do for him. He’s always ready to boost my self-esteem and has written glowing things about me (on FB and in letters of recommendation) and it’s the latter that has brought me to dedicating this day of thanks to him. He is writing a letter of recommendation for me for the job that I just had a phone interview for and he sent me a draft to proofread. It is so supportive that I got choked up reading it. I told him that I hope that someday my self-esteem can match his opinion of me.

So I want to dedicate this day of thanks to my very good friend, my “bro”, Simon. I am very lucky to have him in my life.

 

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30 Days of Thanks: Day 2

Maybe I should have written this sooner, or as part of my post on the phone interview, but I am very thankful for the opportunity.  I did write to the department chair and thank him for the interview.  (I think he was there, and even if he wasn’t, it seemed to be the most appropriate way to proceed.)  Having been invited to do a phone interview was a great boost to my self-esteem.  I’ve reviewed it and reviewed it in my head, and can’t recall any major mistakes.  Part of me wants to run ahead and start making plans, but another part of me knows that I’ve only done the phone interview and can’t count on anything.  But it’s nice to dream, right?  This would be a good job and hopefully (if I get it) I won’t screw it up like the other ones I’ve had.

But enough negative talk!  This is about thanks and I am very thankful for this opportunity.  So thanks to the search committee, thanks to God or the Fates or whoever is in control, and thanks to me for keeping my head during the interview! 😉

Let’s hope I reach the next stage of the job process!

 
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30 Days of Thanks: Day 1

I saw this on Carla’s page and thought I would give it a go as well.  I have no plans to abandon 30 Days of Creativity, as I am having a lot of fun with that but events of yesterday have put into perspective how important it may be for me to run this project.  It may well also help with my depression.

So you may be wondering, what happened yesterday?  Well, I went and did my normal shopping run at Walmart.  I put my groceries in the car and returned the cart.  But my mind must have been elsewhere because I left my purse in the cart.  I didn’t discover this until I got home.  My purse, with my wallet, phone and spare meds… all missing.  I looked all over the car.  I drove back to Walmart.  It wasn’t in the cart return.  I went inside and waited in line at customer service.  It felt like it took forever!

I asked if anyone had turned in a black leather purse and they produced it immediately.  My iPhone was still there.  I opened my wallet to show them my ID.  All my cards were still there.  I didn’t have any cash, so there wasn’t any to lose.  (I am canceling my credit cards, just in case.)  Everyone around me was so happy for me.  The ladies behind the counter and the lady behind me in line.  I just kept saying thank you.  One of the employees told me she knew the customer who turned it in – a nice fellow with a baby.  No recrimination like you might find in some parts of the country.  I’ve been saying thank you all day.

The weirdest part was that even though I couldn’t find my purse when I got home, I didn’t panic.  Somehow I felt that it would be alright. And if it wasn’t, well, at least I could get a new driver’s license picture.  (How’s that for bizarre?)

Anyway, here’s a shout-out thanks to the man with the baby who found my purse! 🙂

 

© Manic Monday (manicmonday123) 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Manic Monday (manicmonday123) with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.