I get my elbow reattached in the morning. I’m not sure there is enough Klonopin for me to deal with this. There are a million things going on in my head, but I don’t feel manic. I do feel anxious. VERY anxious. I called the pre-op department today because I had forgotten to tell them about my Lyrica and I mentioned that have severe PTSD from a past medical trauma. (For a brief description see Donation: One Slightly Used Gallbladder.) She asked what the trauma was from and I said a car accident that nearly killed me. I told her how I get very upset and start shaking and my blood pressure goes up, etc. Then she asked what time I was due to be at the center and I said 7:30am. She said not to worry, I would be the first one on the schedule and they would get me set up with an IV and a sedative. I forgot to ask if my husband can come back and keep me company while I wait for the surgeon and anesthesiologist to make their rounds.
I’m already trembling, how will I survive the hour long drive down there? And I certainly hope they give me something to keep the pain at bay for the long drive home. (I’m assuming that I will get a script but it will take time to fill and I still have to get home.) I’ve prepped a pillow for the car ride and a spare bottle of old Lortab in case they won’t give me a parting dose for the ride. I have backups upon backups and still I don’t feel safe. I worry about the procedure, I worry about the recovery, I worry about everything. Worrying doesn’t do any good, I know, but how do I stop it?
Today I was really busy with therapist & doctors appointments and the like. I just settled down to write this about an hour ago. Just to update on other things – worker’s comp appointment wasn’t as bad as I feared. He is sending me to a hand specialist to check but it seems that I have inflammation in the wrist joint that will probably go away over time. Maybe. We’ll see. Oh and I was able to get a copy of my job description from my nurse case manager. I’ve never had one before. It’s interesting to note that my job description (as a professional with a PhD) is the same description as the technician’s job. Remind me again why I went to college for 10 years???
Thank you all for the good thoughts for tomorrow. I’ll post when I can.