First Blog-o-versary!

Yes, I stole the term from Lulu, who recently celebrated her blog-o-versary. Thanks Lulu!

It’s both difficult and easy to believe that it’s been one year since my first blog.  I’ve talked about moods, work, photography, my family, my pets, my mental health, my physical health, and I’ve started working on the 30 Days of Creativity and 30 Days of Thanks projects.  I started out coming down from a mania, and plunged into depression, with glimpses of stability.  It’s been quite a ride.

I’ve gone from 1 reader to over 50 readers.  My world has expanded, my writing has expanded, and I’ve made new friends.  Thank you, readers, for sticking with me through out this journey of self-discovery.  This blog has become a large part of my world, it’s a support network, a place to vent or cry or whatever I need to do at the time.  A place to speak freely about whatever I want to talk about, whenever I want to talk about it.

I enjoy blogging, even though some days I am not up to it, but I do the best I can when I can.  That’s anyone can ask for.  Thanks for coming back after the silences.

Now I’m ready for ice cream.  Anyone want to join me? 🙂

100th post

It’s been nine months from my first post until now. Long enough to have a baby. And this blog is my baby. A special place where I can vent, I can laugh, I can cry, and I can know that some of you are listening, laughing and crying with me. From 1 follower to 37 followers. And I cherish every single one of you.

My first few posts were often ones of anger. I don’t regret them, but it shows where I was emotionally at that time. Since then, I have dipped into depression, and it was only through this blog that I was able to watch my emotional spiral. I discovered that my darkest hell had a name: dysphoric mania.

I found a doctor I can rely on and a useful therapist. And I found you. This amazingly supportive community. Where you more about me than most of my real life friends. They may know my name, but you know my struggles, my triumphs, my innermost thoughts and feelings.

Thank you for reading my blog. I wouldn’t keep writing it if you weren’t. And I wouldn’t have seen so much of myself if not through your eyes.


© Manic Monday (manicmonday123) 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Manic Monday (manicmonday123) with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Very Inspiring Blogger Award

I want to thank fracturedangel for this award. I am honored. 🙂

Like all the other awards, there’s a few rules: thank the person who nominated you, nominate seven others, and provide seven facts about yourself.

And the nominees are…

As the Pendulum Swings

I Was Just Thinking…

Disorderly Chickadee

Leesis Ponders

Bipolar for Life

Manic Muses

A Canvas of the Minds

Seven things about me:

1) I never think of myself as inspiring or as someone to look up to or be admired.  I am full of self-doubt and I really don’t see myself that way.  However, people keep telling me that I am inspiring so it must be so.  Someday I’ll learn to accept it.

2) I have brown hair.  Sometimes it’s curly, sometimes it’s wavy, sometimes I can get it straight with a forceful flat iron.

3)  I have glasses because I can’t get contacts in and out of my eyes safely.

4) I just got bifocals. 😦

5) I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.  Maybe self-confident. 😉

6) I’m stubborn.

7)  I love books, but I haven’t been reading lately.  Too many video games, I guess.

Blog Honors

This is long overdue, but I want to thank LunaSunshine for all of the wonderful honors she has bestowed upon me and my blog. Lulu, you’ve become a good friend to me, and I am grateful to have you in my life!

The Versatile Blogger: I never thought of my blog as versatile. It’s just me bitching about my life. But if I look back through my posts, I do have some valuable stuff scattered throughout and not everything is about my sometimes miserable life. Every once in a while, I try to throw in something light-hearted like coffee or geese.  So after much contemplation, I can agree to accept this award graciously.  Thank you Lulu!

So here’s seven random facts about me:

1. Puberty curled my hair.  I have no idea why I find this particular fact fascinating, but I do.  I think it’s because it shows how flexible the human body is and how it can change over time while responding to chemical changes, whether they be natural or unnatural.

2. I do not have children.  This is by choice, both mine and my husband’s.  I always knew there was something wrong with my family and I didn’t think I would make a good parent.  After my car accident, where I broke my hip, I was pretty sure I didn’t want to go through the birthing process.  As different illnesses crept up on me, I was sure I didn’t want to pass on these genetics.  I may be smart, but that didn’t seem to be enough for me to want to risk (potentially) exposing another human being to my genetic illnesses.

3. I had a hysterectomy three years ago.  I’m never having children anyway.

4. I love cats.  We have four cats and a dog. The dog is my husband’s. My pets are my children and I love them as much as I would a human.

5. I love European travel. I’ve been to England, Scotland, France, The Netherlands, and Prague. If I had my way, I would live in France, along the Loire Valley. From what I’ve experienced, French society is so much less stressful than American society. The French are very friendly people too if you approach them properly. We had more people offer to help us in Paris that we would ever have found in New York City.

6. I have a PhD in the physical sciences.  If I had it all to do over again, I’m not sure I would have traveled the same route, nor gone as far in my education as I did.  I originally wanted to be an actress when I was in high school, but I’m glad I didn’t follow that path.

7.  My husband and I met 15 years ago.  I knew when we met that he was “the one” – it took me three years to convince him of it. 😉  He’s been through the ups and downs (literally) with me, and still stayed by my side through screw-ups, job loss, and dysphoric manias.  I don’t know what I would do without him and I pray I never have to find out.

Blog for Mental Health 2012 (Challenge): I wasn’t sure about this one at first, but when I thought about it I realized that this is what I do.  I’m here to tell my story, which happens to include bipolar disorder.  I’m just like any other individual with a house and a job and a husband, but bipolar tints my glasses just a little bit differently than another individual.  I’m here to tell the world that not everyone with a mental illness lives on a street corner, talking to themselves, and pushing a shopping cart with all their worldly goods.  We come in different sizes, shapes, colors and personalities.  We might be your next door neighbor and you would never know. We could be your manager, your teacher, or your colleague. Many of us write anonymously because face it, although we can’t be stoned to death anymore, there is still plenty of stigma to go around.

Here’s the Challenge:

1.) Take the pledge by copy and pasting the following into a post featuring “Blog for Mental Health 2012″.

I pledge my commitment to the Blog for Mental Health 2012 Project. I will blog about mental health topics not only for myself, but for others. By displaying this badge, I show my pride, dedication, and acceptance for mental health. I use this to promote mental health education in the struggle to erase stigma.

2.) Link back to the person who pledged you. (Lulu!)

3.) Write a short biography of your mental health, and what this means to you.


I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in my 30’s.  Apparently, this is quite late in life, but I was first diagnosed with major depressive disorder in my mid-20’s, except no one noticed my manic states.  I wasn’t diagnosed with anything before that because I spent seven years in an abusive relationship with no medical care.  He didn’t care much if I lived or died and neither did I – but that’s another story for another time.  Back to my diagnosis… I was off the charts manic and didn’t know it.  A friend pointed out that I might be bipolar.  Between him and my husband, they convinced me to go to the ER.  I really don’t know why other than it was a step towards getting help.  The hospital offered to keep me, but I convinced them otherwise.  You see, I had a funeral to go to and if I didn’t go I would never forgive myself.  So they gave me a few days for that but sent me to outpatient therapy, or what I like to call: “Daycare for Psychos”. I was originally diagnosed bipolar NOS (not otherwise specified) which sounds like a cop-out on the diagnosis. My current doctor said she thinks my symptoms resemble BP I more than BP II, which I discuss in my post Bipolar 1.5.  I think of my bipolar as both a blessing and a curse.  I plan to write a blog sometime in the future about my complex feelings on the subject.

Liebster Blog: Lulu, you are a kind and generous soul to nominate me for this award. As I understand it, this is a way of saying I love your blog!

As for nominating others for these awards, well, this is where it gets difficult.  I’ve been so depressed lately that I haven’t been following any blogs, not even my own.  There are so many deserving blogs, but I will pick some that I don’t think have gotten any nominations.  🙂

Disorderly Chickadee

Bipolar for Life

Hi, My name is Elizabeth and I’m an Alcoholic

Manic Muses

Now I just have to figure out how to get these cool little pictures to show up on my blog!