Phone Interview in Review

OK, this post is two days in the making. I’m still having trouble with focus.

This isn’t the school, it’s actually a picture of Victoria College in Toronto, but I thought the image would brighten up my post for today.
Image (c)ManicMonday

Yesterday:

Hot off the presses… I just had a telephone interview for a teaching job (a long distance away). I think it went well. I’m still processing it all. At least I went in prepared with what I was going to say although I got a few curve balls. I think I did pretty well. I can’t think of anything major that I screwed up. We will see how it goes. Now I wait to hear word back from them, but I should know something within the next couple of weeks. My references fell a little short, i.e. some of them didn’t make it, so I have to followup on those.

I wish I was more organized! I can’t keep things in my head straight. 😦 I think I am slightly hypomanic. I need to get focused. The school is actually hiring for three positions, so if I got one, I could be starting as early as August!

Today:

I’ve had a some time to process the interview. I still feel confident about the interview, although I probably could have handled a couple of things better than I did. I’m trying to figure out how to send a thank you note since the entire committee wasn’t there and also because I missed the name of one of the committee members. I could send one directly to the chair and ask him to pass along my thanks. That’s about the best I can think of. If anyone else has any ideas, please share! 🙂

I started on the higher dose of Geodon last night, and already I feel my hypomania fading away. It appears that I react very well to antipsychotics. Either that or it’s just a new episode, this time of stability. Wait, scratch that – I’m distracted today. Maybe it’s ADD. During this post (today) so far, I’ve talked with DH, checked facebook, mail, and texted.

I’m trying not to think of the “what ifs” – what if I get this job? How will we move? DH is committed to the fall semester here so that means time apart. We’ve done it before, but we really don’t do well apart. And we’d have to sell the house, which we may have to do anyway, so we better get cleaning. We have so much junk to sort through! But how to clean when you keep getting distracted?

I am getting a head of myself. There’s no guarantee that I will even get this job.  I’d like to ask if you, dear reader, would please cross your fingers, think good thoughts, or say a prayer for me.  I need to get out of the rut that I am in and I think that getting this job would do that for me.  Thanks!

© Manic Monday (manicmonday123) 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Manic Monday (manicmonday123) with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Hypomania: the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

I am starting to get hypomanic with this job interview coming up. This always happens to me, at least if I am interested in the job or not so depressed that nothing helps. The job is for a teaching position, and I will be teaching one of my favorite topics. I am not sure whether I want the job or not – it’s on a yearly renewal contract basis. It’s also an hour drive each way. Blech. I hate that long of a commute, especially in winter with the ice storms we get out here.

As for the hypomania, I am trying to control it without too many drugs. I have a lot of trouble focusing, and I tend to want to talk too much, too fast and interrupt. I have to curb these urges for a job interview, but usually being hypomanic helps me – I’m charming, outgoing, and friendly. I give the outward appearance of being all the things I’m not: focused, interested, comprehending, and extroverted. I know hypomania is considered “bad” but all these effects help me get through an interview and get the job.

Oh we all know the bad side of hypomania… one of my biggest vices is shopping. I needed to go shopping to buy a new suit for the interview because all my old ones are two or three sizes too big. This meant new skirt, blazer, blouse, camisole, stockings, and I bought a “briefcase” like purse. At least I am wearing shoes that I already have. I had such a hard time restraining myself from buying jewelry, extra camisoles, extra skirts, extra blouses, etc. Fortunately, I didn’t even go near a shoe store. I have developed a passion for shoes over the past few years and good ones at that like ecco or Clarks – $100 shoes. Gotta keep the debit & credit cards in check!

The ugly… we are all susceptible to poor judgement when hypomanic. We may say things we don’t mean, give offense, find offense or be quick to anger, drive too fast or too recklessly. I find myself saying things I shouldn’t or interrupting people, trying to finish their thought for them. It’s a bad habit that only occurs when I am hypomanic and it’s hard for me to control. I know it really pisses people off too. My brain has bounced ahead along so many paths that I just can’t wait for the other person to catch up. Finish talking so I can talk! Ugly. Bad impression. Rude. Offensive. I usually am a happy manic but I can be short tempered, especially when under a lot of stress. I do drive too fast or I might drive and eat or something else distracting at the same time. I’m on overdrive, why shouldn’t my car be? Potentially ugly consequences.

I am taking all my medicine and I really don’t think that there is anything else my doctor can do for me. I’m not a real danger to myself or others. I just have to keep aware of how I’m feeling and acting to make sure I am being appropriate. Use the cruise control to eliminate speeding. Follow the directions on the GPS, and focus on the road. Try not to let my nerves get the better of me. Fight my mind to focus on what people are saying and don’t cut into conversations too early. And go easy on the bad, self-depricating jokes. I killed my reputation at this last company with too many self-depricating comments that others took seriously. So if I work on my focus, which is really hard for me, and try to plan and prepare as much as possible, hopefully I can get through this interview with flying colors.

The professors there are so smart that I am terrified of sounding stupid. Remain calm. Smile and nod and pretend you understand. Try to think of questions that don’t sound too stupid. I wish they made a medication for self-confidence!

I start at 8am and meet with nine different people. It’s going to be a busy day! Wish me luck!


© Manic Monday (manicmonday123) 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Manic Monday (manicmonday123) with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.