The 5 minute interview

I swear it wasn’t any longer than 5-10min.  They asked me a few questions… why I left where and what the most recent jobs I’ve done have been and why I wanted to work for them.  I think I did OK answering the questions, but I don’t think they liked me very much.  We’ll see.  They intend to make a decision within a week.  I decided that if I get the job I would just have to deal with the standing.  It’s at a branch that is 5 min from my house.  I could walk to work if I was ambitious.

Tellers work alternate Saturday mornings (no problem) and shifts that rotate either 8:45 to 5:15 or 9:45 to 6:15.  Pretty straight forward.  There’s an “upselling” catch though.  Each month the teller has a quota to get customers interested in the bank’s other products and services.  The quota increases the longer you work there.  Really?  A bank?  Oh well, a job is a job, isn’t it?

I’ve been thinking about the teaching thing.  I think I might go ahead and get my certification.  It’s going to cost some money once you include all the tests but I think it might be worth it.  If we end up moving to another state my certification may not transfer but I think it would look better than not having one at all.  It might transfer to some states too.  Who knows?  At least I would be doing something towards my future.

I don’t know what to do.  I feel lost.  I don’t think I’m going to get this bank teller position and don’t know what to do next.  Keep applying, I guess.  I’ve not heard back from many of the universities I applied to and I expected that I would have heard something by now.  I think my research plan sucks and that is what is holding me back.  I don’t know what else it could be. 

Will I ever be employable again?  I go through jobs every 3-4 years but I know others go through jobs every 3-4 months and they still get new ones.  I just want a job where I can stay.  Go to work, go home, go on vacation.  Done.  I wish I hadn’t screwed up this last job.  Oh well. Done deal.  We must carry on.

Anyone know how to get a freakin job??!!!!?!?!?

Job Interview Tomorrow

OK, I have a job interview tomorrow. However, it’s not as great as it sounds. It’s to be a bank teller. Apparently, they weren’t scared off by my Ph.D. (I had to put it on my app since they are running a background check and it would have come up if I lied.) So, I applied on Thursday, they called me on Friday to set up the appointment for tomorrow. I’m really not sure what I am doing.

I didn’t lie on my application or anything, and I do need a job, and I don’t think that being a bank teller would be all that bad except for one thing: standing up all day. Yes, this should have been obvious to me. But I applied on Thursday when I had a cold and wasn’t thinking clearly. I honestly didn’t expect them to respond, at least not so soon. Now I’ve got a job interview for a job that I don’t know if I can do because I don’t know if I can stand up all day long.

Why? Because I have 3 herniated disks in my back that press on my sciatic nerve when irritated. I’ve also got a bunion in my right foot. There’s a cyst in my foot that is pressing on the toe joint. I thought the doctor said something about my bones separating too, but now I’m not sure. I don’t know. I’m too young for this crap.

Apparently not, because it says online that even teenagers can get bunions. Crap.

Regardless, my foot hurts pretty often and I’m sure standing won’t help any.

So what do I do? DH says to go and at least hear them out. I’m thinking maybe there’s the possibility of a stool to sit on from time to time when they aren’t busy. I need a job, even though it’s minimum wage, and I need health insurance. I wish now that I hadn’t applied for it. I don’t know. I am so confused.

Never Heard Back

I know some of you were waiting to hear how that job interview turned out. Well, guess what? They never told me. Anything. Since classes started yesterday and I am still 1400 miles away, I am guessing that I didn’t get the job. A friend of mine said it was ‘tacky’ of them not to get back to me. Whatever. I don’t think I’d want to work at a place that disorganized and inconsiderate.

And so here I sit, wondering where to go next.

I wonder what jobs are available for an intelligent, over-educated, opinionated, middle-aged woman. Yes, I have to confess that I am middle-aged now, and wondering if things will ever get crossed off my bucket list. (I still want to go to Scotland and New Zealand, and dozens of other places.) If only I hadn’t screwed up this last job with my 4 weeks of vacation and $120k paycheck. But my mental health is much better by not working there. So the real question is: what is the price of mental health?

Oh, now that’s a topic that should be a blog post all by itself.

Bucket-list is another blog topic too.

Guess I’m just brainstorming now. Wait, that’s out of fashion. Oh well.

My left arm is bothering me today. I’ve got a dull ache in my shoulder and down the arm, with tingling in the hand. No, it’s not a heart attack. At least, not very likely. I’ve been to the ER on several occasions under similar circumstances and my heart is fine. Stress test is fine. What’s not fine is the damn neuropathy and ‘probable’ MS. It could also be that my shoulder is so cramped up from stress and what have you that it’s putting pressure on a nerve. That’s what it feels the most like. I wish I could afford to go back to my massage therapist!

Blah. My life is still boring, that’s why I haven’t written anything. I did make a couple of cute cards so I’ll post those with a 30 days of creativity post. Soon. No, really, soon.

So what should I talk about? I’m really doing a poor job of creating a post today. I’m all rambley and stuff. Brainstorming. That’s it. It may not be cool anymore but I still like it.

Any ideas out there as to what I should write about? My life is pretty dull. 😦

And my arm hurts. Bummer.


© Manic Monday (manicmonday123) 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Manic Monday (manicmonday123) with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

No Word Yet

Well, I’m getting pretty anxious here. I still haven’t heard from the college and I’m starting to get depressed. (It doesn’t help that I woke up with a stomachache and haven’t felt well all day.) I know, I know, administration can take their time, but really, I should have heard by now. Most of the day is over on the East coast.

What I don’t understand is why. Why am I not getting jobs? I’m getting interviews, but not jobs. Where am I going wrong? I used to never have this problem. If I interviewed, I got the job. But I was usually hypomanic. I’m not hypomanic. I am boring old stable me. Should I go off my meds? Would that help?

I just don’t get it. I know, I know, they still might call. But my hopes are dwindling by the minute. And here I got my car repaired ‘just in case’. I’ve been pre-planning ‘just in case’. I know I said I wasn’t going to count my chickens before they are hatched, but I was counting eggs and trying to find room in the coop for the chickens ‘just in case’. I feel like smashing all the eggs right now.

Sorry, I’m just not in a good mood today. My BFF is on her way over soon so hopefully that will cheer me up. I don’t know what to do. Will I ever teach again? Or are people meeting me and wondering about my age? I always thought that was more of a problem in industry than academia, but maybe I’m wrong. Or is it something else? I sometimes feel like they can look at me and see that I am crazy. Is there a big sticker on my forehead?

I am so sick and tired of being unemployed. I hate this. I hate waiting. I hate today. 😦

 

© Manic Monday (manicmonday123) 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Manic Monday (manicmonday123) with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The Conference

Three busy days. There were supposed to be four, but I had to leave early in order to go to a job interview across the country. I got the student housing rate for the conference and I had a roommate for two of the nights. It was weird, but OK. She said something wrong in her talk, but I didn’t correct her. Not my place, actually. That and she came back after I had already gone to bed.

I did run into Dr. Bastard. All he did was nod and say hello. No scene, no conversation, nothing. Oh well, what was I expecting? I had no idea. He got what he wanted (me out of his lab) and I had my own business to attend to. At least he wasn’t nosy or nasty. Just cheerful as if he had met any other colleague, except he didn’t stop to talk my ear off like he would have with someone else.

But you know, when I saw him, I kept trying to think of what my therapist said, “He’s a pathetic man.” And I just kept thinking about that. There was one point, during one of the receptions, I could see him across the room and I’m pretty sure he could see me, that I developed some of that old fear. But then I was talking and laughing with a group of our peers. He might have just been jealous. I did avoid going back for some of the good food just so I wouldn’t have to go to near him. Cowardly of me, I know. But I think when we are faced with our abusers we tend to retreat into the shadows, hoping not to be seen, rather than to confront them. I had no intention of confronting Dr. B, but I do wish I hadn’t been so fearful as to avoid looking at some of the posters just because they were near by. Time will heal this wound too.

I did run into and talk to one of the other people from my former workplace. He’s someone who wants to be a nice guy but has some complicated mental issues. I don’t know exactly what his problems are, but I was told that he has periods when he is “off his meds” and can be extremely difficult -more than usual- to deal with. He has issues with touching (so he and I did not get along at first) and he has some attitude issues sometimes. He doesn’t respect female bosses, he told me that himself. He’s really smart and despite all his eccentricities, I really respect him as a scientist. I had sent him an email to that effect before he retired and I “left” but I didn’t know if he got it. So when I saw him, I told him again. I wanted him to know that I respected him. I don’t know why I felt that was so important, but it was to me. He thanked me, and then tried to change the subject, because I think he is uncomfortable with compliments.

I gave out five copies of my resume and several copies of my card. (Make your own business cards.) I did two interviews (with the same company) and talked to a couple of others. (It is a VERY small conference.) I didn’t get the chance to enjoy the conference part of it as much as I would like to have, but I went there for job searching and networking so I accomplished my goal.

Overall, it wasn’t a negative experience. And I am thankful for that. Maybe next time I won’t be too afraid to go over and view the posters that he is hovering around. Or better yet, maybe he won’t be there next time I get to go to it. I’m sure there will be a next time, just who knows when. 🙂

As an aside… no amount of ADD medicine can help you pay attention through a boring or incomprehensible talk!

© Manic Monday (manicmonday123) 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Manic Monday (manicmonday123) with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

A Whirlwind Week!

I haven’t written in almost a week for two reasons: 1) it’s been extremely busy, and 2) I forgot my password to log on to WordPress. So how am I writing now?  My browser remembers the password, I clearly don’t.  My phone remembers too, which is how I did my last post.  But I have a hard time with typing a lot on my phone so I didn’t write any more posts.  There is so much to share but first I must decompress.  A week ago, I was on a ranch, shooting a tin can.  Since then, I’ve gone to a conference, done three interviews, and flown back and forth across the country.  I’ll catch you all up as soon as I catch my breath! 🙂

 

Another Phone Interview in Review

Wow.  All I have to say is wow – and not a good wow either.  I told DH, “I was about as eloquent as a bull in a china closet.”  I specifically did not take my Klonopin because I wanted my head to be clear, but I guess I should have taken it.  Maybe things would have gone better.  I took my Straterra – I was focused. My mood has been better since the weekend, so I’m pretty stable.  I just stumbled everywhere.  I couldn’t get the words out.  I couldn’t express my passion for teaching.  I forgot all my analogies, all my anecdotes, all my stories that make me special and a great candidate.

Bomb.  It was like I was a third person watching myself fail.  I didn’t feel like I was failing, I was just watching it.  My words, where were my words?  I can tell you now how I keep in touch with some of my former students and I see the impact I had on their life and it makes me proud.  Why didn’t I tell them that?  My brain simply closed the doors to that knowledge.  I felt so empty-headed. Like staring around you at an empty ballroom. I would start answering a question and then the words stopped flowing.  Ending up with ‘uhm’ and ‘that sort of thing’ trailing off to silence.  I have so many good things to say, why didn’t I say ANY of them?

I probably sound like I am beating up on myself but I’m not.  I’m just frustrated.  I’m wondering to what corner of the universe the language centers in my brain escaped.  Sometimes I stopped myself from saying something that could have been negative, but applying the brakes to any thought process seemed to cause a shutdown of all communication skill.  I could hear the seconds tick by as I raced through my mind, looking for something relevant to the add, something to finish the sentence with.  Gone. Empty. Not even crickets chirping.

I don’t know if I will get called in for a face-to-face interview or not.  I should know by the end of the week.  But this time, I’m not counting any chickens.  Hell, there’s no chickens to count – they flew the coop.