Writing

Writing has been very difficult for me lately. Even though I can now type with two hands, I feel like I have nothing to say. A little bit of depression, I fear. So the question is: why isn’t the Paxil working? It’s always worked like a charm, easing the sadness away starting at two weeks. It’s been three now, and I am getting used to the side effects, but it’s NOT working. WHY?????????

There is another factor in this equation, and that is that we lowered my Lamictal a bit. I’m still above the therapeutic dose so I should be fine. We did this to see if it would improve my memory and my estrogen levels. Yes on the estrogen, still unknown on the memory. But Klonopin reduces memory too – so just call me screwed. (For those of you on Xanax, it can cause memory impairment too. Maybe all the benzos do.)

I’m a little wound up today because the nurse didn’t fax in my paperwork last Friday. Or if she did, then the fax didn’t go through. I don’t know what to do. I left her a message on Friday, but she hasn’t called me back yet. Since the doctor is in the office today, she will be hard to get a hold of, but tomorrow is her desk-day so I may be able to get a hold of her then. I can keep checking my work email too just in case she sent it in but hasn’t bothered to call me. If she tries to tell me that she never got it, well, that’s a problem with their office. I dropped it off, paid my $5 and have a receipt. I have a few more days on the paperwork, but it’s got to get in there soon. I hate dealing with big places with stupid rules. I’m not sure it’s worth it, even if they are supposed to be “the best”.

Sorry this is another rant-day but I needed to get that off my chest. I will try to post something interesting one of these days.

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Four Things

I have a tendency to forget things. Whether it’s a result of medication, too much on my mind, or just old age, I don’t know. As a coping mechanism, I try to make lists. But my lists get so long they get overwhelming. And when I’m overwhelmed, I don’t get anything done. (This happens a lot during mania – I start everything and finish nothing.) I also have to confess, I’m a lousy multitasker. I’m very detail oriented, sometimes to the brink of overkill, but I have to be able to focus and not be distracted by things. (This is also why I hate having a pass-through office; too many distractions.)

Since I’m easily overwhelmed, I need to find ways of avoiding it while still accomplishing something. I started doing something over the past couple days that I think I will continue. I make a list with four things that need to be done and I have one day to do them. There may be a hundred things that deserve to be on my list, but I narrow it down to four. I complete those four and then I feel a sense of accomplishment. I may even feel enough accomplishment to keep going with other tasks, but I have not committed myself to it, hence I can avoid feeling overwhelmed.

I don’t know if this will work long term, but at least it’s a start. Do you have any organization tips to share?


© Manic Monday (manicmonday123). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Manic Monday (manicmonday123) with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Medication Muddle

OK, so if you are like me, you have an overwhelming number of medications and you are a tad bit disorganized and/or scatterbrained.

Is it five medications in the morning and three at night? Or is that six in the morning and two at night? What about the “as needed” ones? Where do they fit in? Where do vitamins fit in? They all look alike because they are all generics because that’s what the insurance company pays for and more than likely the pharmacy has gotten a new supplier and they’ve changed color or size or something. Also there are some that have to be cut in half, which complicates matters. Don’t forget that some need to be taken with food and some need to be taken on an empty stomach so some get taken and some get forgotten. Oh, and did I already take that this morning/evening? And do I need to eat something to go with it? Or when was the last time I took it so I can figure out when I can take another?

Can you imagine what I am like when I have to start a new medication (especially one that requires dosage ramp-up) and try fit that into the mix?

So my doctor says get one of those pill boxes. Sure, that would be great if I could remember to fill it. And then if I did fill it, say on Sunday, it might be at a time when I was taking the medication or it could have been at some other random point in the day. So, is that little box full of pills labeled Sunday something I just took or something I need to take? (This may sound a bit extreme but it has happened before.) More than likely, I’ve never filled the pill box at all. I have, once or twice, discovered that I took my morning meds more than once in a day even while using a pill box because in my morning haze (I am so NOT a morning person) I’ve forgotten what day of the week it was.

So I go to take my meds, and invariably, something distracts me. Like the dog decides he has to go out RIGHT NOW and he starts barking. I started to take my meds, but then I had to let the dog out and meanwhile I got the idea for this blog and I wandered off to start typing and now I can’t remember what I’ve taken and what I haven’t. I know I thought about taking them, but did I actually do it?

This is more apparent with something like painkillers, which I am on while recovering from surgery. I take them then I have to wait 6 hours before I can take them again. Six can be a lot of arithmetic for someone who is sick or in pain. Especially if you are trying to cut back your dosage from 2 to 1 but then the pain lets you know that you can’t do that all the time, so you start to stagger the dosage. So it’s 6 hours after pill#1 that you can take pill#3 and 6 hours after pill#2 that you can take pill#4, but it’s not that simple, because in between you’ve had a nap (painkillers do that) and now you hurt and can’t recall what time you took the damn things – all you know is that you hurt, and wonder how many is it safe to take?

Maybe I’m ADD. Or maybe I’m manic. Or maybe my memory is going. Or maybe I’m just so overwhelmed with doctors, surgeries, tests, physical therapy, medications, appointments, and worrying about finances and going back to work that I can’t keep anything straight.

Am I the only one like this???

© Manic Monday (manicmonday123). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Manic Monday (manicmonday123) with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.