To dose or not to dose?

To dose or not to dose, that is the question.

I saw the neurologist again today.  Since I was having such a difficult time with the Neurotin, he asked if I would be willing to try Lyrica.  The side effects are similar, but it may not affect me as badly as the Neurontin did.  So I am going to try it, but I don’t know if I have high hopes.

I’d told him that the Neurontin made me depressed and that I was still suffering.  He said that because Neurontin is a short term medication (it only lasts 4-6 hours), I should no longer be affected by the depression side effect because I had stopped it last week.  Great.  So how do you explain this depression?

I’ve often wondered what actually triggers a manic or depressive episode.  We often say stress – but is there more to it than that?  Perhaps stress just makes us vulnerable to the one incident or event that triggers the spiral.  For example, could it be that the Neurontin started the depression and that even though I’m no longer taking it (thus no longer subject to that particular side effect) it is too late to fight this oncoming storm?  Did the drug start the ball rolling down a hill and I am incapable of stopping it? If I was a normal person, would I no longer be depressed because the medication is out of my system?

Side effects, drug interactions, body chemistry – together they build a house of cards that is in a tenuous equilibrium.  The more medication that I add to the mix, the more complicated the structure becomes.  So the real question is: to dose or not to dose?  Which is the greater evil: the medication or the illness?  How do we chose?


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