Writing among other things

I haven’t written in so long that I feel like I’ve forgotten how.  I know that isn’t true for I’ve been writing a lot of fan fiction lately.  It seems like my time goes into writing that instead of more productive things.  I used to post a separate blog on one of my fanfic stories, but it’s being moved to fanfiction.net.  {Pen name MirandaBasilisk if you are curious.}  I’ve actually got three stories on there, one is being moved from my alternate blog, another is a new story, and the last is called a one-shot, where it’s only one scene.

Other than that, it’s just the usual.  Still some saga about my Dad’s estate, namely his car, and I don’t know what to do about it.  He still hasn’t gotten his glasses replaced so he can’t read and he’s really bored.  His hearing aids are missing too.  Some things just never end.

The job situation is still a joke.  My bestie implied I wasn’t trying to find a job, which really hurt.  That was yesterday.  Yesterday, my coffee maker broke and the dog killed a bird.  Not a good day. 😦

On the positive side of things, I am signed up to take my certification exams in order to teach high school.  I have a lot of studying to do and about a month to do it in.  I’ve already started, but I didn’t do any yesterday – I just felt so rotten.  I was seriously contemplating drinking – yes, drinking with my Klonopin.  I didn’t want to die, I just wanted to not feel for a while.  All our alcohol is on top of the kitchen cabinets and my husband wouldn’t get it for me.  I don’t know where the step stool went either.  In retrospect, maybe that’s a good thing.

I switched therapists.  That was a nightmare.  I never wrote it out and I should have.  I should have followed through by talking to my old therapist’s (intern) mentor.  She deserved to know why I left.  Now I pay for therapy, but this lady is so much better.  She is older (maybe early sixties) and she understands bipolar because she IS bipolar!  My pdoc recommended her – in fact, she used to be a patient of my pdoc.

OK, I’m sitting here listening to Nickelback and getting distracted.  I’m looking for a song I heard on the radio yesterday (ok, 2 good songs on the radio – yesterday’s high points).  I’m pretty sure it’s a Nickelback song, but apparently not on the album I own.  See how I old I am?  I used the word album.  GROAN!

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Mental Hospitals

OK, I have to keep posting or I’ll never get through this.  I went to see my Dad at the mental hospital.  It was kind of scary but not as bad as I expected.  The front desk was all plexiglass with a speaker to talk through and a small slit for passing paper.  I was able to pass his medication bottles through to them and they were supposed to get them to the nurse’s station.  I got a phone call this morning that he has been moved to another facility.  They want to put him on psychotropic drugs, which they needed my permission for.  (Why?)  And why does it take so long for him to see a doctor in a mental health facility?

Argh.  If only I could have gotten him to sign off on power of attorney and a health care proxy before this happened.  I tried but he was too stubborn.  There’s time, there’s time, he would say.  Doctor says I have to live to be a 100.  While he might just do that, what kind of shape will he be in at 100?

I think they told him he had a mental breakdown so that’s what he believes.  I think he had another mini-stroke (maybe not so mini) or a seizure.  He’s lost about the last 10 years of his life.  He doesn’t know where he is (what state) and he doesn’t know how old he is, but he remembers me and his other children.  He remembers the past well, he is just confused about the present.

If he is competent enough to sign a HIPPA release, is he competent enough to sign a power of attorney?  Sometimes I wish I was a lawyer, even though I know I would hate the job.

I guess I need to go now because all I am doing is stopping to pace while I write this.  Stupid me forgot to pack extra Klonopin and it’s catching up to me.  So many things to do and I don’t know where to begin.  Wish me luck.