Retail Therapy

I’m feeling a bit down today and yesterday.  Went out and performed some ‘retail therapy’ with a friend yesterday, but that only went so far.  It’s also difficult to get into retail therapy when you don’t have spare cash to spend.  Fortunately, I only spent about $30 (vitamins excluded).  The other thing about retail therapy is that the high only lasts a little while unless you’re manic.  Then it’s the reality of spending money you don’t really have on things you don’t really need.  Even when I brought home a large paycheck, it didn’t change the guilt I would feel afterwards.  Of course, I would be spending $100-$200 instead of $30 too so it’s all about perspective.  I’ve spent so much at Eddie Bauer over the past few years, DH & I nicknamed it the ‘evil store’.

We even stopped into the jewelry store.  I was working on collecting jewelry from all the major gemstones.  I have a ring, earrings, and necklace of garnets, amethyst and sapphire.  I was planning to go on with rubies and some of the others.  (I think ruby was next on the list.)  I saw this beautiful heart shaped ruby ring.  It’s too expensive (and too impractical) for my Christmas list this year but maybe next year.  Anyway, I don’t know why I stopped in the store in the first place.  Perhaps just to torture myself.

I feel like I should be saying something more profound about retail therapy, since I titled the post with the phrase.  But I guess I have to realize that not everything I write has to be profound.  Sometimes it’s important just to write something – anything. 

Here’s an aside though, that I want to throw out to all of my readers: my therapist wants me to bring in my journal so we can use it as talking points for therapy.  I am reluctant to do this.  It reminds me of how my mother used to read my journal when I was young.  I know she isn’t my mother but it still feels like someone is checking up on me to make sure I did what I was supposed to – like homework.  Do you think she has the right to look at my journal?